All The Things I've Stopped Doing And Why I'm Better For It
I knew I loved November, and it got even better when I realized it was the only month with the word 'no' planted inside its spelling. So, why not use this month's built-in encouragement to get firmer in your boundaries and say 'no' a bit more? (If that feels scary, go ahead and blame it on 'No'vember, saying you're doing a personal challenge.)
What's the benefit of saying 'yes' to saying 'no'? Allow me to elaborate…
Saying 'no' has quietly become one of my wisest moves. I used to believe accumulation was the goal: more titles, projects, memberships, and recognition. But there came a point when letting go (of roles, relationships, and routines) became how I found alignment and, ironically, greater growth.
I rarely actually say the word 'no'. It's more about the mindset of editing and recognizing that something that was once a 'yes' might eventually become a 'no'.
Specifically, here are some of the things I stopped doing (aka said 'no' to):
1. I closed, sold, or automated businesses i'd poured years into, ventures I once thought would define success. It took time to admit when a chapter had run its course, when my efforts were better spent elsewhere, or when my heart wasn't in it anymore. That wasn't failure; it was a mature recognition that growth sometimes means moving on (which can look like outsourcing, delegating, automating, and/or stopping) and that freeing up my bandwidth was actually an investment in my next season and a signal to the universe that I was available.
2. Writing for high-profile outlets like Forbes and Inc. I didn't stop because I didn't value the platforms, but because the endless chase for validation and visibility wasn't feeding the kind of impact I wanted to make. The prestige was external; the satisfaction I craved was internal. Plus, it had served its purpose. In stepping away, I learned that sometimes, letting go of the trappings others celebrate opens up space for the work and influence that's truly meaningful.
3. I recently hit pause on my annual mastermind, Mind Your Business, and, before that, closed its membership community. In the case of the mastermind, it was our most successful year ever (qualitatively and quantitatively). Ending on a high note felt right because I sensed more deeply that I wanted and needed the space that saying 'no' would open for it. In this case, I didn't make the decision and alert the group. I offered them the opportunity to renew and said that if it wasn't unanimous, we'd be complete. I trusted how it would work out, and it did.
4. The social media growth game: I used to put a lot of energy (and resources) into growing on social media. While it's had a lot of benefits (it's the second most common way clients inquire to work with me (after referrals)), I changed my relationship with it years ago to one of nurturing those who are already there, versus seeking to gain new eyeballs. While my engagement and vanity metrics are down, my business is up.
5. Podcast guesting and creation: I’ve co-hosted 2 podcasts over the last few years and have been a guest on about 150. While I’ve enjoyed all of it, I'm not in a season of promotion or desiring to put the energy into the creation of either format. The good news about all of them is that they're evergreen and remove some of the stress of constantly creating new content.
6. I’ve let go of relationships (professional, personal, and everything in between). Sometimes it was a natural drift, other times more pointed.
7. I no longer bulldoze my way to the results I want. Instead, I align my actions with my intentions and trust that what's for me is for me. As a result, things feel easier.
8. I released old self-imposed identities (about never being engaged/married, becoming a mom, being hyper independent, not being able to cook, not being 'someone who works out', and more). It wasn't always comfortable, but it's also how real transformation happens: by trusting that what belongs will remain, and what falls away creates room for what's next.
Success for me is no longer about scaling at the internet's pace or measuring up to arbitrary metrics. Instead, I allow myself to question whether I want what many others seem to chase. By saying 'no' to hustle and 'yes' to alignment and peace, I've gained in all the ways that matter to me.
The lesson? Each time I stopped, said 'no', or moved on, I became more myself. The wisdom is not in saying 'yes' to everything, but in the courage to let go and design your path on your terms.
Where will you say 'no' next?