How To Have Better Meetings (According To Brené Brown)
Brené Brown's latest book, Strong Ground, has a set of tools to support what she calls 'Rumbles' that I immediately shared with clients.
I've compiled them here to help you show up grounded, clear, and effective in the moments that matter most.
These tools help leaders reduce defensiveness, strengthen trust, foster psychological safety, and move conversations toward truth and alignment, rather than tension or power struggles.
For context: A "Rumble" is not a debate, a performance, or a way to prove who's right.
It's a grounded, real conversation where both people show up with openness, curiosity, and a shared commitment to truth, even when it's uncomfortable.
A Rumble involves:
Curiosity instead of defensiveness
Listening with full presence
Naming stories, fears, and assumptions
Staying open instead of armored
Prioritizing understanding over winning
Not sure if you're having a 'Rumble'?
If you're not feeling uncertainty, risk, and/or emotional exposure, it's probably not a rumble.
Why This Applies
Every leader faces moments that require courage: delivering tough feedback, addressing team misalignment, having the difficult conversation everyone is avoiding, or navigating high-stakes uncertainty.
Fortunately, courage can be developed.
How to Use This Guide
Use this resource before (and during) any high-stakes conversation: performance reviews, conflict resolution, strategic decision-making, or moments where emotions or uncertainty are running high.
Here's how most executives apply it:
Prep with Self-Awareness:
Review the Ready-to-Rumble Checklist to ensure you're entering the conversation grounded rather than reactive.Open with Curiosity:
Use a Rumble Starter to set the tone; one that signals collaboration, curiosity, and shared problem-solving.Navigate with Clarity:
Pull from Rumble Tools to surface assumptions, reduce confusion, and name what's actually going on.Reinforce Trust:
Use the BRAVING Trust framework to understand where trust is strong and where it may be breaking down.Connect back to Courage-Building:
Remember the broader goal: We're not just fixing a single issue, we're building a culture where courageous conversations are the norm.
The Tools
1. Rumble Starters
Use these to open difficult conversations with openness, curiosity, and shared purpose.
The story I'm telling myself is…
I'm curious about…
Tell me more.
That's not my experience…
I'm wondering…
Help me understand…
Walk me through…
We seem dug in. Tell me what matters most for you here.
Tell me why this doesn't feel like a fit.
Here are the assumptions I'm making. What about you?
What problem are we actually trying to solve?
2. Rumble Tools
Questions that create clarity, reduce assumptions, and ground conversations.
What's my part?
What does support look like?
What key learnings can we take from this?
Are there intentions or expectations we need to name?
Is this a short-term vs long-term horizon mismatch?
Do we need to check our facts vs the story we're telling?
Do we need a pause or time-out?
3. BRAVING Trust Framework
Seven elements of trust to build, repair, or diagnose trust issues.
Boundaries: Clarity about what's ok and not ok.
Reliability: Doing what you say, consistently.
Accountability: Owning mistakes and making amends.
Vault: Protecting confidentiality; sharing only what's yours to share.
Integrity: Choosing courage over comfort; values in action.
Non-judgment: Giving and asking for help without shame.
Generosity: Assuming the most generous interpretation of others' intentions.
4. Ready-to-Rumble Feedback Checklist
You're ready to give feedback when:
You're willing to sit beside someone, not across from them.
You keep the problem in front of you both, not between you.
You can listen deeply without assuming you already understand.
You can name strengths, not only gaps.
You can hold someone accountable without shaming or blaming.
You're prepared to own your part.
You can genuinely acknowledge effort.
You can connect the challenge to growth and possibility.
You can model the vulnerability you're asking for.
You're aware of power dynamics, bias, and stereotypes.
5. The Four Courage-Building Skill Sets
According to Brené Brown, courage is built through four skill sets:
Living into Values: Identifying your top values and practicing them consistently.
Rumbling with Vulnerability: The foundation — without this, none of the other skills can work.
BRAVING Trust: Creating and sustaining relationships built on psychological safety.
Learning to Rise: Building resilience, recovery, and the ability to rise after setbacks.
Leaders cannot be braver than their willingness to embrace vulnerability.