We've Taken 'Authenticity' Too Far
I don't drink, but if I did, it would be fun to make a drinking game out of overused business and pop-psychology buzzwords. I'd start with: pivot, hack, narcissist, gaslight, and authenticity.
Joking aside, when we overuse a term, it begins to lose its impact. It also tends to have its meaning stretched or misused.
Let's talk specifically about 'authenticity'. Dictionary definition: the quality of being genuine or real.
I like this description from psychology today:
Authenticity is not the same as honesty, consistency, or being real.
Authenticity is acting according to one's true self and behaving congruently with values and personality.
Here's my issue with our overuse of the term 'authentic(ity)': it can be used as a pass/catch-all/free-for-all to do, say, feel, and/or act however we want. Or, alternatively, to justify other people's behaviors.
For example: “it felt authentic for me to skip that meeting because I didn't feel like going”.
Or: “it felt true to what I was feeling to go off in the comments.”
In one of my interviews with bestselling author Seth Godin, he commented on this in much better language than I'm offering you:
“the internet wants people to get on the authenticity train. This means to say whatever you want. If it doesn't work, blame it on the audience. The thing is, blaming the audience is a really shallow excuse. Whether you're getting knee surgery, hiring a lawyer, voting for somebody, or just following a musician, no one wants authenticity. They don't. They want you to be your best self. The fact that you're in a bad mood, they don't care. They didn't come to see someone in a bad mood. They came to see the best version. You go to a concert. You don't want to hear that the person has a sore throat and is phoning it in. You want the best version of them and that's called consistency. It's not authenticity.”
Well said, Seth. I agree: no thanks to the knee surgeon who's telling me about his breakup and is distracted before surgery. As consumers, we want consistency with a window into the authenticity of the brand or business from which we're purchasing. We don't want unadulterated, 24/7 authenticity.
As businesses and/or leaders, we should keep this in mind. Aligning with our values and living in concordance with our true selves is essential. But our clients and customers don't want the 'sore throat singer' or 'let me share my trauma with you if you didn't ask' virtual assistant.
My guess is you're not acting egregiously authentic. Yet, I'd also venture to guess that there's room to consider your relationship with authenticity.