What People Get Wrong About Networking Outreach
If you follow me on Instagram, you're likely familiar with my ongoing "Networking Gone Wrong" series. In it, I screenshot messages that are intended to connect, "pick my brain," sell me something, or otherwise, but miss the mark. Then I explain how they could have done it better to improve their chance of attaining their desired outcome.
Here's the thing: none of us gets it right all the time, and we can't succeed without others. Therefore, it's in our best interest to communicate thoughtfully and in ways that are least likely to close a door before it's opened.
In that vein, here are a few anonymized examples of networking gone wrong and what to do instead:
1. The Immediate Ask
"Would love to pick your brain for 30 minutes."
Why it fails:
It centers the sender's needs without offering context or value.
What works instead:
Consideration for the recipient, specificity, and optionality.
2. The Overfamiliar Opener
"Hey love!" or "I feel like we're basically friends."
Why it fails:
Closeness is built, not assumed.
What works instead:
Connect at your actual level of closeness. Call out any distance to diffuse it.
3. The Resume Dump
A long bio followed by "Let me know how you can help."
Why it fails:
It creates cognitive load and has no clear next step.
What works instead:
First, get buy-in before dumping on someone. Second, take the burden on yourself and make it as friction-free as possible for the recipient.
4. The "Any Advice?" Email
Broad, unspecific, and impossible to answer well.
Why it fails:
Good advice requires a real question.
What works instead:
Be clear and specific with what you're asking and offer to glean the answer in a way that's best for the other party.
Rule of Thumb:
Good networking makes it easy to respond.
Great networking makes the other person feel respected and valued.